68 Comments
User's avatar
Jaime Dress's avatar

Okay now how am I supposed to look my daughters in the eyes the next time they refer to me as the D word. There is equal chance I might laugh in their face or be silenced into shock thinking where else the term has been used.

To confirm he was an idiot, not only ruining an evening of fun but of future father/ daughter relationships.

Alice's avatar

I take it then you too have never favoured the ‘Daddy’ approach in an intimate setting?

Jaime Dress's avatar

I rarely like to criticize what others find desirable but I do not want fathers involved in my intimate relationships. I truly liked my wife’s father but I would never want to be him in my wife’s eyes.

Alice's avatar

It's such a confusing trope. I've never seen the appeal. I'm never one to yuck someone else's yum, but there's just something inherently 'ick' in some cases...

Jaime Dress's avatar

I agree. I always feel like the idea leads eventually to private islands with old men and girls that shouldn’t be there.

Jaime Dress's avatar

I should also add that you wrote quite the compelling story. It was able to stir deep enough emotion in me to comment negatively about your acquaintance. Very well written Alice.

Present Moment's avatar

Oh, Alice! You’ve outdone yourself once again. Well done! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Alice's avatar

Far too kind, thank you!

too old to rock's avatar

Effing hysterical! You have a flair for being incredibly descriptive without being tedious. And you never fail to really get to the heart of the matter. I thoroughly enjoy your stories and usually agree with you 100%. The daddy thing is totally out of hand. I get called that even by women of a similar age. It's ridiculous.

Alice's avatar

I honestly think it’s largely deployed by those just struggling to find something to say rather than out of any inherent desire to have it said!

too old to rock's avatar

Then just say yesss baby, or that feels so good, or just like that! If you want to feel dominant, say tell me you want it, or maybe beg me for it!

I hate performing or fake enthusiasm. It always shows.

Alice's avatar

It goes back to my original point - communication is always key. If you take the time to actually *ask* what each other enjoy, you'll always have a far superior time!

Emyr Maddox's avatar

If a guy can’t laugh with you while you’re boning, does it matter how silver his tongue between your thighs?

Alice's avatar

Obviously both is preferable. But I’d rather a capable tongue in some department than an anthropoid muscle incapable of anything but slobbering…

Emyr Maddox's avatar

Fair. Slobbering either literally or metaphorically is a mood killer.

Alice's avatar

Not sure why autocorrect chose to change 'atrophied' 'anthropoid', but either way I'm clearly nailing the sexy talk myself.

Emyr Maddox's avatar

Seems like an example of the law of equivalent exchange. Blessed with great tits but lacking in the sexy talk game.

IMHO not a bad trade for you.

Harry Martinian's avatar

Talk about reading the room. You must have been way beyond moist and he was stuck on your calling him Daddy ? You were right to leave your parting words.

Nothing could be “farther” from the truth . I caught that cunning linguistic turn babe.

Scott's avatar

That quote at the beginning is spot on!

Alice's avatar

Genuinely might be the best thing I’ve ever said!

Sean Normandsen's avatar

Well played, Alice. I love that throw-away line on the way out. So well-written, I can imagine myself there.

Alice's avatar

Thank you, Sean!

Some Things About Me's avatar

Alice! So beyond funny. Good girl.

Some User Name's avatar

I must know... what is HIAATAMT?

Alice's avatar

Apologies, I forgot to include the explainer for new readers!

HIAATAMT: ‘HI, I’m Alice and these are my tits’

ThatClench's avatar

I really love your light sense of humour and intelligence. Thank you for sharing this :)

Alice's avatar

Thanks, Bernie!

DrVic65's avatar

This is too good. As soon as I saw the title, I said to myself, the only daddy issues Alice would have is calling a man daddy during sex. I didn’t really think that’s what this would be about. This was great!

Alice's avatar

You can read me like a book!

TC's avatar

At least he didn’t call you Mummy!! 🤣🤣

Alice's avatar

He’d not have lived through the encounter!

chris j's avatar

I once had a girlfriend who was an actual ‘Lady’, in the Debretts sense not the behavioural one (the two generally don’t occur together sexually in my experience). I often acquiesced to her requests with ‘yes m’lady’, which i guess is sort of equivalent but not so complicated in a Freudian way.

Alice's avatar

I think I’d have lad fewer issues had he asked me to call him ‘M’lord’ than ‘M’Daddy’…

Not sure what exactly that says about me, but I’ve always preferred Clement Freud to Dr Freud anyway.

chris j's avatar

Agreed. Clement Freud had Henry, lovely hound of a variety I’ve always dreamt of owning. Sigmund Freuds Chow Chow Jofi was far too fluffy and childlike, oops here we go again. 😬😂

Jimmy's avatar

Should have had a not safe for work label. I had a few laughing fits that my co workers looked up from their desks at me. I just looked away I could not explain what was so funny. Your too much.

Alice's avatar

“Just laughing at someone’s Daddy issues”

Covered it!

Jay's avatar

Humorous and irreverent, the perfect combination. Great story, Alice. ❤️

Alice's avatar

Thank you so much, Jay!

reality speaks's avatar

Hon, he didn't deserve you.

Alice's avatar

I don’t disagree.